NothingPerSonal

It was never ‘Nothing Personal’

A woman sits at an outdoor table with a laptop, looking at a river valley.
Current image: A woman sits at an outdoor table with a laptop, looking at a river valley.

I’ve heard this so many times…

‘It’s nothing personal’.

And maybe people mean it when they say it.
Maybe it’s their way of keeping things simple.
Clean. Detached.

But the truth is…
it never really feels that way on the receiving end.

Because when someone withdraws,
or stops showing up,
or changes without explanation…

it doesn’t land as “nothing.”

It lands quietly,
but deeply.

I think we say “nothing personal”
when we don’t want to carry the weight of how our actions affect someone else.

And maybe that’s human too.

But feelings don’t work on disclaimers.

They don’t understand distance created in the name of logic.
Or silence justified as “being done.”

They just sit there…
trying to make sense of what changed.

I’m slowly learning this though…

Not everything needs closure from the other person.

Some things…
you close gently within yourself.

Not because it didn’t matter,
but because it did.

And maybe that’s what makes it personal

Responses

  1. N---M Avatar
    N—M

    This is such an honest unraveling of something so many of us have felt but struggled to name. You’re right — feelings don’t honor disclaimers. But I wonder if sometimes “it’s nothing personal” is also said out of its own kind of pain – an inability to articulate, not an unwillingness to care. The most powerful part of what you’ve written, though, is the ending. Reclaiming closure as something you can give yourself — that’s not settling. That’s sovereignty.

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    1. Sonal Agarwal Avatar
      Sonal Agarwal

      You’re right….sometimes ‘it’s nothing personal’ may come from a place where people don’t quite know how to express what they’re feeling.
      I hadn’t fully seen it that way, but it makes sense.
      And I really like how you’ve put the idea of closure… that shift towards giving it to yourself.
      Thank you!

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